Sorry I've been a bit quiet the past week! The official "end of summer" arrived, and with it, my summer routine. Although if I'm honest, my routine hasn't changed much except that I'm dragging myself out of bed before 7:30 so I can attempt to whittle down my to-do list.
It's been an odd week, what with everyone else returning to school and me not returning. My initial response is to ignore it. Pretend like nothing has changed and life has always been this way and I've always been jobless. But Friday I had an epiphany: I quite enjoy my life right now. So far I've been kept extra busy with etsy and craft shows and friend orders and new pattern designs, as well as training for a new job to begin at some point in the future. I'm sure things will settle down after I catch up with the changing seasons and restock all the fall and winter patterns, but in the meantime I've constantly got a crochet hook in my hand. (Except for now. But it is sitting right beside me.)
I'm also trying to become a better housewife. M is cool with me setting up "work hours" and sticking to them (for the most part), but I can tell he also appreciates the fact I've been able to keep up th the dishes and laundry and actually have dinner made on a consistent basis. Alright, I lied. The laundry is still in a GIANT pile in the laundry room waiting to be folded and organized, but at least it's all clean! (That's been my excuse for how long now?)
I also enjoy the freedom to socialize. I can stay out past 8:00. I can meet up for coffee in the middle of the day. Someone needs a sitter for an hour or a ride to the store? I can do that! This past Sunday we spent the entire afternoon and evening with good friends, and not once did I have to worry about the next days lesson plans or what I had to do before duty the next morning. I was able to focus on the people around me and invest in the relationships. This may very well be my favorite part of life right now.
Best of all, I'm not as bitter as I was before. I'm still not ready to return to the world of teaching, but I'm at peace with it. I'm hoping and working towards a position as a brain trainer, and enjoying the process. It's not totally outside of education, but the setting, context, and purpose are different. M is the one who suffered the most from my bitterness and anger, and I'm trying to reverse those patterns and create new ones, such as a clean house, smiling wife, and dinner. It's only been a week, but so far it seems to be working.
Ultimately, I feel as if I've reached a place of peace and trust. It's scary not knowing when the next order will come in or how well we will do at a show, or if there will be enough money in our bank account if I don't start work for another two months. But God is faithful and continues to provide in unexpected ways. If nothing else, I am thankful for a chance to relearn trust and reliance on God, even though it makes me so uncomfortable. He has never let me go before and He never will.
Sorry for the very un-yarn centered post! When I get a chance (by Friday, I promise!) I'll be putting up pictures from my current project: Braided Infinity Scarves. I've got one finished, and I think I'm in love!
Stay Crafty!
CR
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